After the most exciting and drama-filled Big Brother season in Big Brother history…Not!, loaded with bold moves up to the brim…Still NO!, and the most dangerous and vicious alliance ever…Oh Hell NO!, it is time to look back at the most boring Big Brother season.  Along with a little irony and a fine dose of sarcasm, I’ll be hypothetically asking each houseguest of Big Brother 12 one question: What was your most strategic move in the game?

Annie, what was your most strategic move in the game?

Annie: NOT falling in love with Brendon!

Monet, what was your most strategic move in the game?

Monet: Instead of actively campaigning for the votes while on the block, I almost punched Rachel in the face.  Way to go!

Andrew, what was your most strategic move in the game?

Andrew: Since nobody liked Brendon, I decided to threaten him in front of the whole house so that others would want to keep me to go after him.  Oh the irony!

Kristen, what was your most strategic move in the game?

Kristen: My strategy was to lay low that I wasn’t even seen on T.V., and when that didn’t work I wore a hippi-tard for disguise.

Rachel, what was your most strategic move?

Rachel: Heeeeeeeey, my strategy was to dominate on this b*tches, and yell clever phrases like, “Grab your life vests floaters!”

Kathy, what was your most strategic move?

Kathy: Use morals and dignity to suck at every competition to the point where my strategy was to be perceived as a weak player, which I wasn’t!

Matt, what was your most strategic move?

Matt: I am such a diabolical genius that I used the Diamond Power of Veto on the most dangerous player in the game, Kathy.

Brendon, what was your most strategic move?

Brendon: My most strategic move was to get into a showmance with the most obnoxious b&%#h in Vegas.

Ragan, what was your most strategic move?

Ragan: My strategy was to lie, cheat, and backstab, which he didn’t!

Britney, what was your most strategic move?

Britney: Being so far up Lane’s ass that it was hard to see how he was manipulating me, which he did!

Enzo, what was your most strategic move?

Enzo: Yo, my strategy was to give silly names to me and other houseguests like the Meow-Meow.  Yo, you know how hard that was man!

Lane, what was your most strategic move?

Lane: My most strategic move would definitely be discreetly playing with myself in the shower.

See ya next season!

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