What do you get when you take a monumentally insecure wildebeest, throw in some pig and horse DNA, a sprinkle of bipolar disorder, a whole lot of crazy and beat it with a frying pan?

A scary, scary creature known only as…a “Rachel”.

Let’s use it in a few sentences:

-“Boy, there sure is a lot of ‘Rachels’ out there today…”

-“Doppler radar is tracking two massive weather systems about to collide. This will undoubtedly lead to the largest ‘Rachel’ this planet has ever seen…”

-“Are you feeling o.k.? Ya, I just caught a quick glimpse of a ‘Rachel’….”

-“I’ve heard about a ‘Rachel’, but have never actually seen one…”

-“Did you hear what happened to Bill last night? What? He was cornered by a wild ‘Rachel’!!…”

-“Forensic experts say it was a bite from a ‘Rachel’ that made her do it…”

Feel free to insert and make up your own. If a chance at redemption was the main goal rolling back into the BB house…she just made matters worse for herself. Just wait, until she gets out of that place and sees how she was edited…again. Not that editing is something needed in this case.

Until she is gone…far gone and away from the Big Brother house, she (and he) will not escape the torment of the people. We know these comments will find you…and we know you would do it all over again and again and again for a few more seconds of attention.

I’d love to give her a hug with two hands of broken glass but I’d be scared to be that close. For now, I will enjoy countless footage of a caged, unpredictable “Rachel”.

On a lighter note, who do you want to win the HOH comp tonight?

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