As I observe the oddity that has become BB14…I feel I am at a loss. I find this may be the right time to go down the list and try to put this in writing. Maybe between the egos, the cluelessness, and the obliviousness…I can find someone in this house who may be worth rooting for. Let’s start…

Janelle–How much and why does America love her? How many comps has she won? What was it like on her seasons? How should you play your game? Just ask her…she’ll tell ya…again and again and again…or you can wait 5 minutes and she’ll tell you again. Like her if you want…for me…Thursday can’t come fast enough. Pretty sure she was born James by the way.

Britney—The second time around hasn’t improved her much. Between her and Danielle, I don’t know who repeats themselves more. If she considers herself nice or classy, then I am a saint. She very well could be the textbook definition of a contradiction. She spends more time ripping on people for being mean…only to NEVER realize she is doing the same thing in turn. A know-it-all…yes. A self-righteous beauty queen…you bet. Condescending…yep. I’ve never watched someone repeat herself more…and most of the time…no one is listening to her.

Danielle—Ok, I watch her…I think Fatal Attraction. She oozes insecurity. How many times does she have to ask, “did I do a good job?”, “what do you think so and so thinks?”, “do you think so and so likes me?”, “why does so and so have a problem with me?”, “is America gonna think I’m a bitch?”, “who cheered for me?”, “where’s Shane?”, “where’s Shane?”, where’s Shane?”. Yikes. We have ourselves a Stage 5 Clinger.

Dan—So, he’s a hometown boy and one guy whose game play I dig. I think only he knows his next move…and that’s impressive in a 24/7 feed. But, but, he could have said one of the dumbest things ever. Wait for it…”are you ready to roll with 2 of the best players in BB history?”. First of all Coach Gheesling…HISTORY… is the invention of things like the automobile…world war…the Kennedy assassination…the abolition of slavery…and so on. This is a game show…come back to Earth.

Boogie—What the hell is a “Boogie”? The jokes just don’t have the same effect as they used to. Time to let it go…just let it go, bro. I know you’re playing up to a persona but it’s like watching Police Academy 6…they should have stopped at 1. You got lucky last week and seem to be safe for one more…but you are not seeing the angles and setting the marks like the old days.

Frank—I like him as a human. The ego is there…but seems mostly grounded. He is way too trusting and not the sharpest dude in the house. I don’t know how he thought BB was a good move…I can’t help but think he was held back a grade or 4 in his young days. Good luck…people in there are giving you more credit as a threat than I think you deserve. Appreesh.

Wil—Too emotional…talks too much. He’s like a combo of Reagen and Bunky. He can be catty and sassy…not the best qualities for BB. It hasn’t worked out well in the past.

Joe and Ashley—I’m putting these two in the same boat. One lies…the other dreams of butterflies. If there is any gas in these cars…they need a refill…and fast. I’ll just say this…I don’t see it…and I don’t get it.

Jenn—She hasn’t won anything. She is quite. I’m giving her an unpredictable score of 8. She isn’t stirring the pot and is listening more than talking…so far so good. I like competitors, so this is were she falls short for me. She isn’t on camera much…so we don’t really know her. Could the right moves at the right time give her momentum…we will see.

Shane—Probably my favorite. He was bitter but dusted it off. He’s just such a huge target and I think it’s gonna be a challenge for him the whole way. Who he aligns with and when will determine if he has the mental chomps to pull off the top prize. The dude wins comps!!

Ian—Reminds me of Eric Stein and Hoffman. His non-committal ways may backfire on him. Nothing worse than a BB aficionado tooting his horn correcting people all day about past seasons and how it was played…leave that to Janelle. I think he’s positioned well for now but I think if you press him…he will crumble.

To wrap it up, the flip flopping is driving me crazy. Dan is running the entire game and for the most part…everyone else is forgettable. I hope Shane makes it all the way but the second he tells Danielle he’s not into her…she’s boiling the rabbit on the stove.

Thanks for the Olympics!!

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